Messaging and replying to people

More often than not it has nothing to do with the sender. A lot of people read a message while they're in the middle of something, tell themselves they'll answer properly later, and then it sinks beneath thirty newer ones. Others delay because the reply requires a decision, such as whether to accept an invitation, and putting off the message is really putting off the choice. Only occasionally is silence a deliberate signal. Whether a slow reply is rude depends heavily on the relationship and the channel. At work, leaving a colleague waiting two days for information they need is plainly inconsiderate, since their task is stuck until you respond. Among friends, though, I think the expectation of instant answers has become unreasonable. Messaging apps show when you were last online and whether you've seen a message, which turns an ordinary delay into something that looks like a snub. That said, a one-line holding reply, something like saying you'll get back to them at the weekend, costs ten seconds and removes all the doubt, so there's little excuse for vanishing entirely. As for the future, I expect voice notes and short video messages to keep gaining ground over typed text, because they carry tone, which is where most misunderstandings begin. I also suspect software will draft more of our replies for us. That may make us quicker, but I'm not sure it's progress: a prompt answer written by a machine tells you less about a friendship than a late one written by the friend.